I have a story to tell, a scary story. A story of a monster living in a basement, a monster with a ravenous appetite. But don’t worry, there is a happy ending.
The monster wasn’t always a monster. When it first moved into the old Victorian home in 1905 it was loved as a modern marvel. It provided warmth for its family throughout the coldest winters and all it needed was to be fed with a shovel full of coal a few times a day.
But as time moved on the monster consumed more and more coal and spit out a dirty, belching breath that polluted and scarred and nobody liked it anymore, except Arthur Scargill, who was a bit odd.
So the monster changed. It started eating Natural Gas. Around 1970, a lot of things that liked coal became full of gas (again, Arthur Scargill comes to mind). And the family were happy again. For a bit.
For gas became expensive and the monster just could not get enough of it. The family were cold in the winter and this made them cross. They started to complain about the monster and wondered if anything could be done about it.
And the answer was, “yes”.
From time to time we come across really old boilers like the one in our tale. Old coal fired boilers than have been converted to oil or gas fired machines. The cast iron construction makes them very robust and they can continue to work for years. But just because they can work, doesn’t mean they should. They are extremely inefficient. They need to be removed, like the one in our story…..
Every monster has its conquering hero. Arthur Scargill was defeated by Margeret Thatcher, who was also a bit odd.
When the family got fed up with living with a monster in there basement and absolutely fed up with paying the bloody gas bill, they called in the experts. Green Plumbing Technologies Inc. came in brandishing flash lights and tape measures and bravely entered the monsters lair.
“Bloody Hell”, they said, “there are two monsters down here”! For it were true, not only did the basement contain an old cast iron boiler for hydronic heating, it also had a storage tank water heater, and they are crap. So the courageous plumbers set about to banish the demons using strange enchantments with words like “high efficiancy”, “modulating burner” and “outdoor reset” and “condensing stainless steel heat exchanger”. They brandished glossy brochures and came with energy saving calculations that could not be denied.
And so it came to pass that a Triangle Tube Excellence moved in to the cave of the monsters. It heated the home at a fraction of the cost and where the old beast would take hours to get the place warm, this fine creation could get every radiator piping hot in just 15 minutes. The old storage tank was dragged off to the great recycler in the sky without complaint, it seemed to know that its time had come. The Triangle Tube, with its built in high recovery storage tank could produce endless hot water at efficiency rates not dreamed of by the crude savages of the past.
The Triangle Tube was truly excellent.
And all lived happily ever after.
Except Arthur Scargill.